Deep Kindness by Houston Kraft

Author:Houston Kraft
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tiller Press
Published: 2020-09-22T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13 REJECTION—NOT-SO-FREE HUGS

If you’ve ever been on the internet, you’ve probably seen a video of someone giving out “Free Hugs.” Most of the clips feature heartwarming scenes of smiling faces embracing in various locales. The final cuts rarely show you all the moments that people denied the squeeze. They almost always give you the highlight reel of happiness—the distilled joy of strangers connecting.

I’ve offered Free Hugs in a few locations: at a mall, on downtown streets, in Central Park, at Pike Place Market, at the homecoming game for my alma mater. Let me tell you: it is primarily an exercise in rejection.

Most people have a parentally nurtured and healthy aversion to strangers. These scare tactics usually involve candy and kidnapping. When it comes to Free Hugs, it’s not just the fear of strangers that keeps people away; most people are in their own world with their own friends and, if they aren’t immediately taken with this out-of-place embrace, then the vast majority of them will walk on by.

If people walk by when a smiling stranger is offering a hug, just imagine how easily people walk by a suffering stranger like Helga offering heartbreak.

The repeat rejection of Free Hugs can very quickly cause you to throw in the towel. Our brains are wired to protect us from pain, and each time someone waves you off or pretends like you don’t exist, the most natural reaction in your head is, “Wait, why am I doing this?”

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